Those Times In Old Places

I came to this place by force

The last place I wanted to be

IL felt I belonged back home, with everyone I loved

Then I met him and I started to like it here,

If only I knew it would all go wrong

I’ve been hurt before, by people who I loved

But I found myself trusting him, when I haven’t trusted for so long

I told him this, thought it was something he should know

He told me not to worry; he was someone to trust,

Boy did he get it wrong

I trusted and believed him

No wonder I fell for him

It took me all my courage, but finally he knew

He said we were too close

Maybe I should have figured it out

I was happy we were close

I thought he loved me like a friend

I told him I moved on,

Everyone but me could see the truth

I still had feelings for him

I don’t think that I have moved on from the hurt

I got so overprotective of myself

We fought when I pushed him away

I was scared to trust him in any way

Somehow he always found his way back in.

I thought we were close friends

I ignored the rumour that he was pretending

Although we still fought, I still let him get closer in

Maybe I shouldn’t be so naïve?

I have a favourite memory of us

I wonder, does he think of it too?

I remember the day he heard me sing

I remember it so well

He told me to trust him I looked at him and believed

I had a lot of fun that day and enjoyed letting him get close

He knew what to say to me

He knew what I needed

He knew when I needed him, that I needed him

You know this too, I’m not sure if that’s good.

As the end neared and I realized I’d have to say goodbye

A thought hit me, so I asked him “why did you be my friend”

I don’t think he understood me as he told me the hurtful truth

He never loved me, it was never true

The hurt was worse than ever, why did I let him in?

It took a while but then I saw

He meant well, he wanted to give me protection

So then I forgave him as I knew he was right

Then we said goodbye and prepared to move on with our lives

I don’t regret him at all; I wish I had known though

I moved on and started living my life

Making new friends but keeping him in my mind

Imagine my shock and surprise

To see him again but through different eyes.

Now I realize that he didn’t care

He just stood there pretending

All that time I spent with him

Telling him my hopes, dreams and fears

He always said that he cared

Now I realize that he never told the truth

You and I are so alike, compared to me and him

The way I want to trust you but feel I can’t

The things you say, and how happy you make me feel

I know you said that it was real

But I can’t believe you…. Yet

I’m scared to trust you

Scared to love you, to think that this is real

I’m scared that if I believe, that it might be fake

I know you told me you felt it was

But I’m still scared to listen, to believe and most important to trust.

I’ve been told I need to trust

That I need to believe again

But after him, I can’t

I think I need you, need to believe you

But you need to know it’s hard

It’s been hard for me

But I’ve been trying to believe you

I’m trying not to lose myself, the way I did with him

You’re someone I care about; I’m realizing you care about me

We both need to realize that it’s going to be hard for me

I’m over him but not over the hurt

But I’ve tried to move on with my life

You are a good friend now

And you care more than he did

I’m still learning, but I know with you

That you care about me as much as I do with you

There are a lot of things you know about me

You understand how I feel and I hope how I think

But the most important thing I need you to know

Is although you may not think this true

I need your protection, but in a good way

Can you do that? Can you be real?